Chemsex and Party and Play culture have ravaged the gay community for decades. Considering the history of this problem, are hook-up apps doing enough to combat the epidemic on their platforms?
I don’t use the apps for multiple reasons (mostly don’t like anonymous-ish sex) but this definitely puts me off of them more. I’m sober from all substances and so even meeting guys in bars is not ideal.
I have to wonder… if you *need* substances to be aroused or to lose your sexual inhibitions… maybe quick hookups aren’t what you actually want? I mean getting drunk and high definitely got me hornier back in the day but it wasn’t a good quality horny. Honestly nothing turns me on more than at least some kind of emotional connection to a guy - doesn’t have to be “love” exactly but even just the comfort/safety/trust of being at least friends with the guy.
I know hookup culture will always be part of gay male culture but I really hope it’s starting to jump the shark. A lot of guys are in denial about how unhappy they are with it.
This is such a good point. It also reminds me of sociological studies I've seen about the emotional deprivation in straight male spaces — where a lack of intimacy & trust can lead to isolation even among peers. Gay men may be medicating a similar level of isolation by using drugs together which simulate a connection.
Really grateful for this Sam. Everyone learns in their own way and for some personal experiences or those of people close to us are all that will get through, while for others, some of these stats are super-powerful.
Anecdotelly I agree. We need to get some hard meth usage data and intervene. The apps turn a blind eye to this but is it there fault or responsibitly to police this? Soon enough, their apps will only be guys who party/escort or fake profiles and they will fail. I am pretty sure meth usage exploded during covid and beyond.. No judgment here but its not good out there and we need to be supportive of a community thats hurting. We need our NGO's to switch gears or we are going to see a massage loss of our community.
I don’t use the apps for multiple reasons (mostly don’t like anonymous-ish sex) but this definitely puts me off of them more. I’m sober from all substances and so even meeting guys in bars is not ideal.
I have to wonder… if you *need* substances to be aroused or to lose your sexual inhibitions… maybe quick hookups aren’t what you actually want? I mean getting drunk and high definitely got me hornier back in the day but it wasn’t a good quality horny. Honestly nothing turns me on more than at least some kind of emotional connection to a guy - doesn’t have to be “love” exactly but even just the comfort/safety/trust of being at least friends with the guy.
I know hookup culture will always be part of gay male culture but I really hope it’s starting to jump the shark. A lot of guys are in denial about how unhappy they are with it.
This is such a good point. It also reminds me of sociological studies I've seen about the emotional deprivation in straight male spaces — where a lack of intimacy & trust can lead to isolation even among peers. Gay men may be medicating a similar level of isolation by using drugs together which simulate a connection.
Really grateful for this Sam. Everyone learns in their own way and for some personal experiences or those of people close to us are all that will get through, while for others, some of these stats are super-powerful.
Anecdotelly I agree. We need to get some hard meth usage data and intervene. The apps turn a blind eye to this but is it there fault or responsibitly to police this? Soon enough, their apps will only be guys who party/escort or fake profiles and they will fail. I am pretty sure meth usage exploded during covid and beyond.. No judgment here but its not good out there and we need to be supportive of a community thats hurting. We need our NGO's to switch gears or we are going to see a massage loss of our community.