On Valentine’s Week, Americans Should be Talking About Sex
Spencer Macnaughton | Uncloseted Media Weekly Newsletter
It was the Winter of Grade 12 and I had just hooked up with my first male partner. While I had been out to friends and family for about a year, I still had an irrational fear about acting on my sexual orientation: “Anything I do with a guy will give me some terminal illness,” I remember thinking.
The morning after, I was hanging out with my Dad and I broke down in tears. “I gave him a blowjob, and I think I have AIDS,” I told him.
My Dad, a former varsity basketball player and frat guy turned business professor, was still grappling with my sexual orientation. “Oh fuck, Spence. I don’t know if you can get HIV from that,” he responded.
We hopped in the car and sped downtown to the closest STI clinic in Toronto. Upon arrival, the nurse chuckled and informed me I very likely didn’t have anything to worry about related to contracting HIV/Aids. She tested me for all other STIs and when the results came back negative, she sent me and my Dad home.
I’ll never forget my Dad responding in this way. Nonjudgmental, accepting, solution-oriented. It made me realize I can talk to him about sex, and it doesn’t have to be weird. It made me realize if—God forbid—something bad ever happened to me, I could tell him.
On this Valentine’s Week, I’m thinking about how lucky I am to have a Dad like him. Most parents, according to a 2018 study, feel “uncomfortable and unequipped” talking about sex with their LGBTQ teens. In American society, sex is still taboo and stigmatized in many pockets of the country, especially in religious circles.
And when queer kids can’t talk to their parents, school doesn’t always provide an outlet for these essential conversations. More than half of U.S. states don’t mandate sex education for youth at school. And in many states that do offer sex-ed, teachers aren’t allowed to talk about LGBTQ sex and must teach abstinence only. Not to mention, there are variants of Don’t Say Gay laws in at least 24 states where teachers are not legally allowed to bring up anything related to sexual orientation or gender identity.
Staying silent about sex has real consequences. Children who receive sex education are more likely to report abuse and rape and recognize inappropriate behavior. Sex education is directly related to a decrease in the likelihood of teen pregnancies and STIs.
On this Valentine’s Week, we should all talk about sex more. Gay sex, straight sex, and everything in between. Only then can the next generation understand essential and complex topics like sexual health, consent, and the difference between right and wrong.
Trump’s Shameful Campaign Against Transgender Americans (New York Times)
NYT Hypocrisy: Outlet Criticizes Trump's Attacks On Trans People That They Helped Usher In (Erin in the Morning)
The New York Times Editorial Board today released an opinion piece calling Trump's attacks on transgender Americans "shameful." The paper has been influential in fueling those attacks.
As Trump hits delete, the race is on to save LGBTQ and climate data (NBC News)
Thousands of government web pages are being altered or deleted following executive orders targeting “gender ideology extremism” and environmental policies.
Sarah McBride wants the LGBTQ+ rights movement to fight smarter, not harder (The 19th)
"We have to reclaim the narrative and the humanity in the public’s mind of trans people," she told The 19th.
Nex Benedict Has Been Gone a Year. What Have We Learned? (Teen Vogue)
Nex Benedict’s death was confirmation that anti-trans policies and rhetoric have a body count. Is anyone listening?
Our list of newsroom partners is growing. In the last week, The Emancipator republished our story examining why Black women are 10 times more at risk for contracting HIV and The Oregonian republished our story looking at why people with autism spectrum disorder are more likely to identify as asexual.
If you are a publication looking for more LGBTQ-focused journalism, you are welcome to republish any of our stories so long as you follow our guidelines.
A huge thank you to Out Professionals for hosting us last night at their networking event at 30 Rock. It was a blast, and we are so grateful for the opportunity to meet more people in the community.
This weekend, be on the lookout for new Uncloseted reporting:
🆕 You probably know @boyabaddie from social media, where she boasts over 340,000 followers on Instagram. But as a queer woman of color, how does she feel about Trump’s attempt to erase the trans and nonbinary community? In our debut episode of Beneath the Grid, a video series where we dive deep with prominent influencers, Baddie sends a powerful message to the President and his team trying to roll back LGBTQ rights.
🆕 Since tying for fifth place against trans swimmer Lia Thomas, Riley Gaines has made a career not in the pool, but by becoming the go-to mouthpiece of the far-right when it comes to the trans sports debate. Podcasts, pinup calendars, 29 appearances on Fox News, a college campus speaking tour and the launch of The Riley Gaines Center. Why did anti-LGBTQ hate groups pick Gaines to be their talking head?
Thanks for reading! Feel free to email me with questions, complaints, tips, and story ideas!
Spencer Macnaughton, Editor-In-Chief
spencer@unclosetedmedia.com
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